Transformation (David Gray)


Tomorrow I am leaving Home No. 2 after four long-yet-so-short months to go to Home No. 1.

Just today I moved my stuff to a storage space, and it was a real drag.

And through my sweat, impatience and worry; all I could think all day was how different this year is from the year before. How meaningful and emotional all this was a year from now; and today it couldn’t end sooner.

Last year,
I lived with people I’ve come to love.
We lived together, and when we had to leave, we left together.
We helped each other pack our stuff, move them around, put them in a storage, shared a storage space.
Then we went out for drinks to celebrate when all this was done.

This year,
I lived with people who treated me like I was invisible.
We lived in the most distant fashion, ignoring one another; and when I had to leave, I was happy to know that they weren’t here.
I packed my stuff, called in one of my friends to help me out, and bought a beer for myself to drink when I was done.

And tomorrow, when I leave, there won’t be anyone to send me off.
No one to wave back to.
No one to miss.

Last year, I was the first to leave, so all my flat-mates came down with me to my taxi, and waved at me until it was impossible to see them from all the cars in between.
My heart was pumping and aching and I knew I was so incredibly lucky.

Well I feel pretty shitty right now.
My heart is aching – in a much more unpleasant way.

“All I am is laid to waste
Transformation takes my place”

For those of you going back home for the summer break, have a safe trip.
This post is my wave, my sending-off of all of you.



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