Everytime We Say Goodbye (Ella Fitzgerald)

Hi.

The thing with having your parents visit while you study abroad is that purgatory-like feeling it creates.

Once they arrive, they make you feel like you’ve never left home, even when your new habitat is oceans away from home. It’s like you’ve always been their cubs, you’ve always lived in the same house, woke up together every morning and said goodnight every night before bed.
Like you never grew up and left home and moved away and started your own life.

“When you’re near there’s such an air about it
I can hear a lark somewhere begin to sing about it
There’s no love song finer,
But how strange the change from major to minor”

And once they leave you have to grow up once more. Not only do you have to grow up from the child you were with them, but you need to grow a bit more with every goodbye. Because you live alone now, you’re on your own, and everytime they leave, you are reminded that you have to keep living alone and being on your own. You are a grown up. That’s what grown ups do.

“Everytime we say goodbye, I die a little
Everytime we say goodbye, I wonder why a little
Why the Gods above me, who must be in the know
Think so little of me, they allow you to go”

I cry all the same, everytime my mom leaves after a visit. However long it may be before I see her and my dad again.
And don’t get me wrong, I am as independent as anyone gets. I live just fine by myself. But I still struggle to get used to the fact that I “need” to be on my own, that I “need” to grow up away from home.

Well my life has its own wheels, so I am left alone once again. I will reunite with the fam in the summer. I’ll leave again in Fall. And so it goes…

Cheers.

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