With my stuffed nose, and soup filled brain, I salute you.
I feel like I failed this semester’s beginning. Despite all my hard efforts to keep things together, I am just constanly failing at keeping my head together against the blows of the chaos of a life that I am having.
“And I’m straining to remember, just what it means to be alive: A life worth living”
I miss the easier days; and believe me, I feel a little disappointed in myself when I’m saying that.
I feel disappointed, because I take pride in being strong and taking up challenges that seem over my head.
I take pride in relentlessly succeeding against the odds. There was a time when I was that lucky, that lucky to be that kind of proud and strong.
“Now you can feel it in your chest, building like little bullets”
I need time.
I want to freeze time.
Get myself back together, and then unfreeze time and get back to living.
I just can’t do the marathon run right now. I really, really can’t.
But then again, real life is nothing like these songs that I love listening to – nor like the stories I read.
Nothing I can pause, or leave a bookmark in between to get back to once I’m ready.
“Daylight come, daylight go
How far will it reach? Ain’t nobody know.”