I don’t get to be screwed over very often. But when I do, I lose it.
“Sit there and count your fingers, what can you do?”
So that’s what I did this Thursday.
I lost it.
And not just in a crazy breakdown way.
I could feel that I lost a piece of my soul as well. I could feel my trust for friendships cracking. I could feel that I became less of a good person.
“Old girl you’re through,
Sit there and count your little fingers,
Unhappy little girl blue”
It really breaks my heart to know that I became a sadder person due to something I did not even had a say in.
Something I did not want.
Something I did not get prepared for.
“Sit there and count the rain drops falling on you”
Something that I just did not deserve.
“It’s time you knew, all you can count on are the rain drops,
That fall on little girl blue”
Mom says that these are things that makes you an adult.
I am heartbroken to think that being sad and disappointed are the things that help us grow up.
Because, honestly? Fuck that.
I hope to make changes today. I hope to fix things.
“No use old girl, you might as well surrender
Cause your hopes are getting slender and slender”
I’ll try not to surrender, and be happier too.