I would love to tell you that
“I’m gonna get in a car, and drive away. Drive so far, no one’s gonna find me”.
But that’s not on my two-weeks-long To-Do List.
I am tired. I am frustrated. I am really confused as to what I want from life, and what I should want instead.
In the last ten days I was, once again, made aware of the fragileness of the life I have built for myself. I don’t think I intentionally build this life to be fragile, but it always ends up being that way.
I am starting to think that the reason for that is my over-protective nature towards my future.I just resist, at my best ability, any and all bad things that can effect my journey. Sounds a little psychotic, I agree, but I just think that there is a “wonderful world” out there and I am not giving up on it.
This psychotic over-protection, however has its flaws. And it’s one major handicap is, that, whenever something bad actually happens, or the universe decides to throw a minor chaos on my way – I lose it.
In the subtlest way, I swear. But I do.
I especially hate it, when the minor chaoses build up to a solutioneless mayhem monster.
And I hate it the most, when the people who are supposed to calm me down and help me out and bring me to reason also become a part of this end-of-the-world scenario.
It just loses all its meaning.
Next thing I know, I am calming someone else down for a hell I am in.
What good does that do? Except for sucking the last sip of my life-juice.
So don’t mind me if I “Accelerate,
Drive so fast
No one’s gonna catch me”.