One thing I’ll have to admit is this:
When it comes to the matters of the heart, I get really excitable.
I love the idea of love; I actually enjoy loving, and I feel like there is not a better feeling then your love being reciprocated.
So even the idea or possibility or hope of being loved by someone I see myself loving, excites me.
I’m pretty sure I can’t be the only one on this; but I may be a little more excited about all this than anyone else.
This awkward little me becomes the aforementioned puppy-like person when it receives attention from a crush and lowers its guard completely; and starts hoping.
And this is not news to anyone, but ‘hoping’ in this context, never does nobody no good.
You’d think knowing all this, and being on top of my relationship games would help me avoid such miseries, but no.
I lose all logic when it comes down to this.
I become a.. I don’t know.. cupcake.
So I don’t blame Guy X, when he doesn’t answer my text, because I know he’s vacationing with his girlfriend, because I web-stalked him (briefly).
On my defense, I would never have known he had a girlfriend if I did not check his profile.
So I believe it to be justified.
Back to the bigger picture:
This is not about one guy.
This is about finding a love that would love me back.
And the longing for that love, expresses itself through these weird little expectations from past crushes.
It’s almost funny.
“And while I’m waiting here this heart of mine is singing
Lover where can you be?”