The older I get, the more familiar I become with departures, hence goodbyes.
All I can say, at this point in my experience, that no one really gets better at saying goodbye.
There are no perfect goodbyes, no closures, no nothing.
When the time to say goodbye comes, it’s almost like the air thickens and all that sentiment sucks the appropriate words out of your mouth, leaving you with the weakest of sentences.
In that, you just really want to glorify the conclusion of your journey together, because you want it to mean something. You want them to know that you valued their existence and their companionship. In fact, you would really rather have them stay with you then see them leaving.
And you hope that they wish the same.
But people with different destinations have no way of knowing how the other feels about this separation. So there is also that uncertainty, and shyness added into those heart-felt goodbyes. There is an awkward smile somewhere there, just to make sure that the other can also see that you are not completely desperate.
And while you go through all these dilemmas, quite subconciously one of you gets into a car or a train or simply crosses the street, and the other watches. Maybe even turns around and walks away.
Away, both of you go. To your respected destinations.
And the apish humans that we are, we lose that sentiment of being with the other just as that other leaves. However awkward or saddening or quick the goodbyes may be. That intended glory is only a momentary sparkle.
So that’s why nobody gets to get better at goodbyes, because we forget how life was before someone arrives, just as fast we will forget how it will be before they leave.
And it’s not your fault. Or theirs. Or the goodbyes.
It’s just our nature.
“And even though you’re now for me, soon you’ll be a memory”