Quite often, I find myself doubting every relationship I have built in the past.
I have a rather sad track record of sustaining friendships with people I don’t see all that often.
I’ve never been one to call people just because, or text aimlessly all the time. I survived high school without a smartphone. And I was fine.
But we’re not at high school anymore, at least not together. So our daily conversations and lunch get togethers have been diminished to monthly facebook pokes, and we’re lucky if we get to Skype ever so often.
One other thing about me is, that, in my relationships I always remain at that spot where someone leaves me. If we’re friends, we’re friends forever. If we have an inside joke about, say, pudding, I will remember that and make pudding joke. Yes, I am forgetful. But not about how close I feel to my friends.
And sometimes, it breaks my heart to see that I am not missed as much, by those I miss deeply.
So there it is, the traces of my teenager-ness taking over the night.
I am new at this after all.